They bicker all the time

They bicker all the time

If it's not one, it's the other! They are tickling and arguing for nothing! The red bowl, the place on the couch, the shower first! It's exhausting. Your children are looking for each other and go away with a quarter turn. Sometimes they come to blows. And you do not know how to react ...

Who disturbs it?
Your children. Conflicts, it's not relaxing! And if one of them is still "the vanquished", or if his brothers and sisters block him, he may become unhappy.
You. You hate conflicts. You dreamed of an ideal family, a little like that of La Petite Maison in the meadow ... We are far from it!


CASE BY CASE SOLUTION

They send you a message

For you the object of the dispute is a trifle. But through this red bowl or this place on the couch, your children express discomfort, often linked to a feeling of injustice.




What has to be done

Let them have the right to argue! Only a good verbal fight allows you not to bow to the role that the other wants to give you!

To banish any lively word, you risk to freeze your children in a falsely harmonious relationship. Disputes are part of family life. By paying attention, you will better understand the expectations, the difficulties of your children, and even your own conflicts between adults.

Make sure that they experiment in turn as losers or winners. To calm the game, highlight all their moments together, just as many!
What to tell them. "You are furious with Pierre, but do you remember yesterday how crazy you were in the park? "

They are jealous

For your eldest, the arrival of the second child was a real earthquake. As for your youngest son, will he always be behind this brother or sister who gets in his way?


What has to be done

Help the youngest to take his turn, to find his place ... Show the great he has more abilities. Remind him that he was also a baby, the focus of all your attention. He will be restored in his narcissism.

Rather than comparing them, for example to oppose the foufou to the reasonable, highlight the advantages of being different!

What to tell them. "Thanks to your brother who likes to cook well, we always have good desserts ... But fortunately you're here to make us run in the parks after! "

They come to the fists!

Words are not enough anymore. The kick is gone alone!
What has to be done
Do not dramatize. Children prefer body language.

Do not accept it: blows and insults are not tolerable! If you ignore them, your children could be comforted in a role, oppressor or victim.

Have them tell each other their story. Listen to them without judging. If one of them is too shocked to talk, offer him to draw his version.
What to tell them. "So you kicked Paul. You were very angry? "


Mom's words


"With my boys aged 4 and 9, it's a hassle! The little one has a very strong character and the big one is jealous of the attention he demands. We make great efforts to talk to them calmly! What works well is to organize once a week separate outings, each of us takes one of the children for a special moment. They are delighted ! We also try to accept that they argue ... and it already takes away stress! Helen, mother of Scott, 4, and Anthony, 9 years old.